We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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