just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
