I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Where is the hickey?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
