Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
