You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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