Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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