You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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