I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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