just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize