They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
