Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
