never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
