im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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