He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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