someone get that fucking seahorse.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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