I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
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just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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