I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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