So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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