speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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