I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
