I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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