Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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