You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
