help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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