Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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