I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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