I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
