I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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