Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
