i already hear my dad disowning me
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
