So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
