I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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