if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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