Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
