i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize