So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
