Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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