It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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