I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize