Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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