do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
