Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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