hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
