she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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