We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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