woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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