PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
