She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
