did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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