they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize