We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
