Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
