I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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