It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
