Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
