we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize