We got so high we made milksteak
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
