god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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