Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
