Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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