i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize